


Secrets

by Pegasus143



Series: Autism Acceptance Month 2019 One-Shots [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Autism Acceptance Month 2019, Autistic Keith (Voltron), Autistic Pidge | Katie Holt, During Canon, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, POV Keith (Voltron), Season/Series 02, Self-Discovery, Special Interests, Stimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 07:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18425814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pegasus143/pseuds/Pegasus143
Summary: Keith is mulling over what to do about some secrets of his when Pidge bursts in.





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> \- This story is technically ship-neutral, but you can find little plot bunnies for basically any Keith ship that doesn't involve Team Sincline  
> \- If you want to learn more about autism, I'd highly suggest looking up Amythest Schaber on YouTube, who has an excellent series called "Ask an Autistic"  
> \- I'll also definitely answer questions in the comments :)  
> \- Obviously different people experience things differently, so Keith's and Pidge's experiences won't necessarily match the experiences of every autistic person  
> \- Pidge is non-binary and uses she and they pronouns, so Keith uses both sets for Pidge in his head  
> 

_“I get that your society is secret, but is everything a secret?”_  
Hunk’s words echoed through Keith’s head. _Is everything a secret?_  
One part of him, the part that had helped him survive through his mother’s abandonment, through his father’s death, through the group homes, through Shiro’s disappearance, through battle after battle against the Galra—that part said yes. It had gotten him through life so far, so there was no reason why it wouldn’t continue to work.  
Another part said no. That part of him pointed out all the times he’d gotten something good out of not keeping secrets—telling Shiro about his dad, telling Hunk that he really missed sweet foods, telling Lance they made a good team.  
But wait—none of those things were really secrets, were they? Shiro had read his dad’s obituary. Hunk had heard him groan at the sight of space goo and asked what flavor he’d like. And everyone had seen how well him and Lance worked together.  
But that was beside the point. The point was—real secrets should always stay safe. Real secrets, like the fact that he was part Galra and had been carrying his mother’s knife with him this whole time—those needed to die with him. He’d seen how Allura hated him and how the rest of his team grew awkward around him.  
_It’s not like I have any other big secrets like that, though._  
“Keith?” Pidge asked, poking her head through the doorway into the almost-abandoned bridge.  
“Oh—uh, hi, Pidge,” Keith replied. For some reason, having another person in the room made him realize that he’d been playing with some of his hair that was longer in the back—twirling it, smoothing it out, even making a mini-braid—for the past—well, however long he’d been here. “Oh, is it time to eat or something?” he asked. There wasn’t any other reason why Pidge would be here, considering he’d already shot down her attempts to ask him way too many questions about being Galra that even he didn’t have the answers to. And they weren’t easy questions, either—they were more along the lines of “Is X thing you do because you’re Galra?” and “How do you feel about Y thing?”. Even though those should’ve been easy questions to answer—“I don’t know” and “It’s okay, I guess”—he still couldn’t get the words out of his mouth for some reason, so he just found the easiest escape route, which usually involved glaring at someone. When he was younger and similar questions got asked of him—usually by playground bullies, or Mr. Perfect James Griffin—he’d usually get out of the situation by threatening to fight the person, which didn’t always go well for him. Now that he’d thought about it, he didn’t really have a reason to be on the bridge either—he’d come here looking for peace and quiet, but he could’ve gone into his room if he wanted that. There was just something more comforting about the bridge—maybe it was the slight hum of the equipment. He didn’t usually like noise, it being unnecessary most of the time, but the sound of Altean tech was alright. Not as piercing as the constant buzz of his dad’s old radio equipment.  
“—Keith?” Pidge asked.  
“Hm? Yeah, whatever, it’s cool,” he answered, having no idea what Pidge actually said. Now that he thought about it, that was his stock response whenever this sort of thing—situation—whatever—came up. Which was actually pretty often.  
“You literally just said you were cool with eating cow shit if Hunk was out of strawberry-flavored space goo…” Pidge said slowly, adjusting their glasses. “…which totally confirms my hypothesis!” They finished, bouncing on the balls of their feet.  
“Pidge, for the last time, I’m not your science experiment.”  
“But you haven’t even heard what my hypothesis was,” she replied.  
“Then why aren’t you telling me what it is?”  
“Let’s go to my room, so nobody will walk in on us.” Pidge glanced around the hallway before taking Keith’s hand and running.  
_Nope, nope, nope, Keith does **not** do hand-holding… and now I’m sounding like Lance._ He pulled his hand away from Pidge, shaking it a little to try and get the feeling of the texture of their skin off of him. _Why didn’t I have my gloves on?_ Or he could’ve just told his teammates that he didn’t like being touched skin-on-skin, but that was kind of a secret. Which meant he wasn’t going to tell them.  
“…Sorry for touching you,” Pidge said once the two of them were safely in her room with the door closed behind them. “I forget that other people don’t like that kind of thing sometimes.”  
“It’s fine, you didn’t know, uh, just don’t do it again or I might have to fight you,” Keith said, immediately mentally face-palming. _So much for “I used to threaten to fight people”._  
Pidge grinned and flapped their hands. “And you’re only continuing to support my hypothesis.”  
“So, are you going to tell me what it is, or…?”  
“Yeah, yeah, alright, so I think you’re autistic.”  
“Uh…” Keith was drawing a blank.  
“Basically, it means that you don’t quite get other people and why they do or say certain things sometimes, and do little movements and things during times where other people wouldn’t be, and back away from certain types of sensory inputs because they hurt while going towards others like they’re water or something like that you really need to live, and sometimes you can’t stop talking because you’re so excited while other times you just can’t talk at all ‘cause it just _hurts_ , and sometimes when the world is too much and it’s drowning you out you shut yourself off from it, and you have certain things that you really like and spend all your free time doing stuff wi—I knew I forgot something!”  
“Okay?” Keith kind of said but kind of asked, feeling like he should say something but still trying to think through everything Pidge had just told him.  
“Do you have anything that you really like and spend all your free time doing?”  
“Uh… training?” Keith said, feeling like he was guessing at the answer.  
“Oh, and does it make you really happy when you’re doing it, like super-happy like you’ve never felt before besides when you’re doing that?”  
“Not really, I just do it because there’s nothing else around to do that I’m really interested in.” _Or when Shiro’s off doing captain-stuff and said I couldn’t come with, or when he’s said he just needs some time alone._  
“Hmm… what about something from when you were a kid?”  
“I liked hippos,” Keith offered. “I’m not sure whether they made me as happy as you’re describing, though.”  
“Okay… what’s the thing that’s made you feel the happiest you’ve ever been?”  
_And back to the secrets…_ “Spending time with Shiro,” he replied, gulping a little.  
“Yep, he’s definitely your special interest.”  
Something clicked inside Keith’s head. “You’re autistic, too. That’s why you know all this stuff about it.”  
“Yep! And also because it’s one of my special interests. I also have special interests in computers and video game history.”  
“Makes sense,” Keith replied, nodding.  
“So you agree that you’re probably autistic?”  
“Yeah. It explains the things that being Galra doesn’t.” _And it kind makes a lot of things about my life make sense._ “Hey, Pidge?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Thanks.”  
_Maybe… maybe letting people in is a good idea. It’ll keep me in the loop about Pidge’s science experiments, at least. I don’t have to tell them all my secrets, but there’s still more I could tell them. Everyone seems understanding of Pidge’s autistic things, so maybe I could say some of mine, like telling Shiro why I like spending time with him, or telling Lance why I like having my hair like this._


End file.
